First off, I'm a lightweight amongst lightweights.
Of course that might be because I don't even weigh enough to donate blood and my first encounter with alcohol was with an empty stomach.
At the after party for the Wizard of Oz cast party,
as any good party should have (or so I'm told, because I've only ever been to 2), it had alcohol.
So with the philosophy of YOLO in mind, I decided that I should have at least 1 drink before I graduate (which is looming fast).
To start the night off, I had a "Ms. Braun", a Sunny D and gin mixed drink.
Of course being the big wimp that I am, I had a full cup of Sunny D and maybe 3 teaspoons of gin.
That being said, I was basically drinking Sunny D so I was perfectly fine.
Then, one member of the orchestra asked if I'd have a shot, so the thought process in my mind went a little something like:
"Well Michael, that Sunny D and gin thing wasn't too bad, what's the worse that could possibly happen"
(the tiny voice of reason) "Michael don't be retarded, you hardly had any alcohol, hell you barely had enough to poison a dead daisy"
Of course the voice of reason was drowned out.
So I had a straight shot of gin put in front of me and a can of red bull next to it.
I took one sip and that was when the tiny voice of reason grew some balls...I mean courage/nerves and said "This stuff tastes like really really REALLY strong cough medicine or in other words, it tastes like SHT". I managed to finish 1/2 a shot glass before I came to my senses and thought "well that was terrible" and in the spirit of peer pressure, I tried to drink the other 1/2, which ended up spat across the table because my throat was burning like someone sandpapered it.
That ended really well didn't it Michael said the voice of reason in my head.
And thus ended my first and only encounter with alcohol.
20 minutes after that, I felt my sense of balance shift slightly but I didn't sway or wobble and I could still do calculus so I attribute that somewhere between sober and tipsy.
Then I decided that I wanted to shift back to optimum brain power so I drank twice my weight in water.
Now I've reverted to my original company policy of no alcohol.
And now YOLO only means the song by the Strokes.
I could've said "To hell with it, I'll go drink something that tastes better" and gotten really drunk and totally lost it but I saw how some of my friends acted when they were completely drunk and I think to myself "what a wonderful wor...I mean do I really want to be like that"
I guess the reason why I don't want to get drunk and lose myself is because my mind is all I really have in life.
I'm not buff or atheltic, I'm not particularly good-looking (I wouldn't say I got hit by the ugly train, maybe fender bendered by it), all I really have going for me is my brain, my mind and I'm not particularly high up on the food chain of brainpower in the first place. I'm probably above-average at most but my mind, my intelligence is the one thing I can take pride in and I guess I wouldn't be able to stand it if I lost control of it because then I'd have nothing.
I feel like an outsider at parties, like I'm there just to watch, not take part if I'm not drinking and boozing heavily.
Of course my general attitude when surrounded by all this is said best by the best video game character ever, Legion from Mass Effect 2.
"We do not understand the organic fascination with self-poisoning, auditory damage and sexually transmitted diseases"
All of that being said, I did enjoy the party and I did have a good time...or as much fun as one can have while being mostly sober (hell why beat around the bush, I was sober, there's no denying it).
On a funny side note, some people I talked to thought I was drunk because I said I had something to drink and my voice was cracking like crazy (because I was Glinda in the spoof before the after party and I had to switch between my falsetto and my heavy metal voice and I had to shout at the top of my lungs because I wasn't miked). In my mind, I sounded like Howard Wolowitz's mom for the first half of the night and then I sounded like the teenaged kid from the Simpsons for the rest of the nut.
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